just humor

My post on Boycotting Men Who Boycott American Women has completely backfired on me.

This morning, I was trolling through my Google Analytics and I noticed a large number of hits coming from a message board site, specifically a women-haters’ message board site. Boycott Boy, after spamming his link onto as many Blogspot blogs as was humanly possible, returned home to the Men Going Their Own Way website and proceeded to brag about how much Web time he’s getting.

“I can’t believe the mileage you’re getting out of this!” one guy gushed. And then they all agreed to just talk about why women are such bitches.

Under a thread titled, “Femenists (sic) pissed at men boycotting them!!” here’s what BoycottAmericanWom says about me:

“Here’s the latest pissed off American bitch who has written an article against my blog . . . Hilarious! These women are fucking retards. They do not possess a quality called introspection. It’s always someone else’s fault. American women are perfect in every single way. Therefore, it must be the rest of the world that is wrong, not themselves.”

I’m highly offended. I am not a fucking retard. And I am, too, introspective. Look at my blog for the past 3+ years. (I mean, really, please do look; I could use another hit surge.) I’ve admitted to fantasies of being in the Witness Protection Program so I could get fat and bleach my hair blonde. I’ve owned up to an unhealthy obsession with Law & Order. I’ve told everyone that I secretly love to see bad parenting because it makes me feel better about my own screw-ups, including accidentally giving my toddler son a margarita that was disguised as lemonade. All of my faults are out there for the world to see.

Everyone who knows me knows that all I really want is for people to like me. I’m a Laney girl, a Hubbard girl and a “nice Lutheran girl.” It’s part of my genetic and environmental makeup. The more doubts I have about getting in the HOV lane to heaven, the more I think my chances are better going for the Miss Congeniality award in purgatory.

And some of those guys over at Men Going Their Own Way don’t like me very much, I don’t think. S.T.A.L.K.E.R., John Rambo, Notaredneck, Dontmarry, Avoidwomen and Loser don’t know me at all, but they don’t seem very fond of me.

All I did was quote from Boycotter’s blog. He’s not spending any time defending why his buddies are so bitter and soured on women. I would definitely be interested in hearing some of the stories. I believe them when they say they have encountered some bitchy American women. You don’t have to tell me. I’ve worked with some of them. But there are some nice ones, too, and I’m one of them. I wish Boycott and his friends would admit that there are at least a handful of ladies out there who  are not going to treat them badly, secretly go off their birth control, spend all their money and then have affairs with their best friends.

I’ve never done any of those things.  And the margarita incident is no skin off your back, so you can’t judge me on that.