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Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Brought to You By . . .

I will never blog a product endorsement for money or free stuff. Know that. I can’t stand when I’m reading a blog and all of a sudden I start to notice that they’re going on about something and then I realize that they agreed to use a freebie in return for a blog post promoting a product. I hope it was worth it, because you just turned me off and put a lock on it. I probably stopped reading you right then. If you’re going to review products, then rename your blog Product Reviews by Carol.

Having said that, I will give extra points to Skippy, who writes a blog called I Make Soap, which is nothing about making soap, so I can only guess that it’s a code word for something that I’m not cool enough to know. Skippy lives in suburban DC and although I’ve never met her, she’s like my 7th best friend. This proves that you can meet someone over the Internet and have a meaningful relationship. She’s super cheerful about life, even though she often gets dealt a raw deal. I love reading her blog because she and her family are as chipper as the families on the Olive Garden commercials, except Skippy’s family makes me happy and feel good about the future of the human race, while the Olive Garden families bring out the sarcastic, cynic in me and make me want to puke.

Skippy once wrote a blog about a tea kettle that she was given to blog about and she tried it and then reported that the tea kettle was crap. I think she said the best thing about the tea kettle was that it was orange. I love that.

So for today’s post, I’m going to tell you about some products that I’ve tried and am absolutely gushy about. I am not getting paid money or free stuff for telling you this, so you can know I must really love these things.

Wine Away

We had a dinner party on Friday night and Good News Bad News: The Bad News is that my husband spilled about 5 ounces of red wine on a beige tablecloth. He tried to create Good News that it was in a beautiful spray-shape that looked like the Spin Art at the fair done by someone who had only one color to work with: Merlot. But that wasn’t the Good News. The Good News was the woman sitting across from me told me about Wine Away, which you buy at the liquor store and spray on a red wine stain and it goes away.

This is true. I was busy the whole next day, but my friend Kathy dropped off a bottle of Wine Away. On Sunday, when the wine stain had dried to a crispy crunch, I sprayed the stain and literally watched it melt away. Thank you, tipsy and clumsy husband! for putting me in a situation where I could learn about such a wonderful product.

Non-Stick Reynolds Wrap
Oh brother, is this stuff good for lasagna. And enchiladas. And anything that has a cheesy top layer that tends to stick to the tin foil, reducing me to pick it off and eat if before I call everyone to dinner. That’s just so beneath me. So this Non-Stick Reynolds Wrap is worth every overpriced markup. I suspect that it’s just regular Reynold’s Wrap that has butter smeared on it. It could be rotting away in my drawer right now for all I know. But it works.

Bounty paper towels

This is an old product, it’s been around forever, but I would do a commercial for these paper towels for free. I use two squares of Bounty paper towels for a dish rag to wash dishes. In a pinch, I can squeeze it out and reuse it for the next three days.

[Don’t mistake Bounty for Brawny, the paper towels with the lumberjack wearing those jeans that are too tight in the crotch. Bounty is the quicker-picker-upper. Brawny is mountain man and cougar housewives. Yuck.]

I once told my husband how much I admire Bounty paper towels and he suggested I write them a letter, praising their product.

“No, because I’m afraid if I do they’ll get cocky and raise the price.”

So do me a favor and don’t tell the Bounty people how much I love their paper towels.

Bert’s Bees Stuff

It’s unlike me to spend as much on personal grooming products as Bert’s Bees. For Mother’s Day one year my kids got me a gift pack of Bert’s Bees products (probably because they had my debit card and knew no bounds) and I was instantly sold. For one thing, you can buy it at the book store, putting me one step closer to having a store where I can buy all the stuff I like - food, picture frames, wine, clothes, books, iTunes gift cards, dress shoes, and Bert’s Bees Honey Almond Hand Cream.

This has been an unpaid endorsement of Wine Away, new non-stick Reynolds Wrap, Bounty the quicker-picker-upper and Bert’s Bees Honey Almond Hand Cream and other fine products. Available at fine stores everywhere.